


To Disclose

by arctor89



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, SuperCorp, super gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 14,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9383621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arctor89/pseuds/arctor89
Summary: A ‘What if’ scenario, stemming from Kara's choice NOT to disable the alien identification device introduced in S2E03 and how Lena would initially react. Mirrors the experience of a queer/trans person's choice to come out to someone who had previously spouted some very "Anti" rhetoric.   Slow burn SuperCorp. Relatively episodic format.





	1. 2x03 part 1: Red Light/Green Light

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Long time listener, first time caller...This has spiraled out of control. Everyone is crying. I’m crying. Thank you, Stephanie, for reading this in its early stages and for the positive feedback. (straight up pretending that mon-el doesn't exist)
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

“But unlike my Brother, I’m going to do it for the good of the world.”

Kara started to lower her glasses. One zap as Lena’s back was turned and she could render this device useless, her secret intact. Kara’s mind spun like a roulette wheel with the possibilities of protecting her identity as opposed to revealing her alien status to Lena. She understood that Lena was one of the few people who didn’t operate under the assumption that most aliens were easily identifiable. Some of them were hidden in plain sight, like Kara.

Kara pushed her glasses back up her nose, appearing to have simply adjusted them. Technically, she could do this without breaking DEO protocol. Lena wouldn’t have to know that Kara is Supergirl, just that she isn’t human.

She weighed the consequences. This could potentially derail the fledgling friendship/alliance with the L-Corp CEO. But better to uncover the actual motives of Lena and her rebranded company beyond the profits that this technology could yield, right? What better way to expose Lena’s true character? This is technically Kara’s right, isn’t it? After all, it is her choice to disclose.

“So!” Lena exclaimed, settling down in the expensive-looking chair behind her desk. She held the device up to Kara, eager to demonstrate its function.

“Right!” Kara stepped forward with a smile, her nervousness easily mistaken for enthusiasm. “Here goes…” Kara pressed her thumb to the pad, heart pounding. The light flashed for a few agonizing moments before glowing a disquieting red.

Lena tilted her head, brow furrowed in confusion. “Wait, that can’t be right.”

It was clear, for all of the merits and applications Lena had attached to the device, She was utterly unprepared for a red light. She looked up at Kara, wide eyed, the device still in her outstretched hand.

Kara’s bright demeanor had dimmed significantly. There was still a ghost of a smile at her lips but an almost pained patience behind her eyes. She stepped back away from the desk, and Lena flinched at the abrupt movement. The brunette had drawn herself up against the back of her chair, the gadget clutched to her chest in a white-knuckled fist. Kara ducked her head and reflexively reached up to adjust her glasses. She desperately tried to divert her senses away from Lena’s reaction. She could hear Lena’s shallow breaths and the thudding of her heart. She could smell her fear.

Kara slowly and carefully shouldered her bag, tucking the notepad and pen back into the center pocket, and made her way to exit the office on unsteady legs. She paused after opening the door, allowing herself one last glance at the panicked CEO before stepping through and quietly shutting it. Her calm was only betrayed by her heart rate, its beat in tandem with Lena’s.


	2. 2x03 part 2: Sibling Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara confesses to Alex about revealing her status as an alien to Lena. Alex is super supportive, level headed, and just awesome in general.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, Stephanie! (mon-el who?)
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Alex couldn’t take it anymore. She picked up the remote and paused their Danvers-Sister night binge-fest. Kara clearly wasn’t present for it. They were lounging on the same couch with their backs to opposite ends, Alex’s feet were resting against Kara’s. The Kryptonian’s eyes had been trained to her lap for most of the episode and she was now absently picking at her nails.

“Okay, talk.” She said sternly.

Kara looked up at Alex with sorrowful eyes.

“I don’t know if I want to, Alex.”

“I can tell something is wrong, Kar. I haven’t seen you like this since…” Alex unconsciously rested her hand on the arm that Kara had broken during the Red-K altercation. Kara cast her eyes downward again and Alex quickly moved forward to take Kara’s hands in hers. “Hey, you’re my sister. And I love you.”

Kara let out a shuddered breath. “I think I’ve made a huge mistake.” She looked up at Alex, struggling to keep the lump in her throat from forming.

Alex kept her eyes trained on Kara’s, silently encouraging her to continue.

“I went to L-Corp to interview Lena. An opinion piece for a Catco article on the President’s Alien Amnesty Act.”

“Ah…” Alex sighed softly. “I take it she had a less than positive response?”

“I understand why she feels the way she does, to a certain degree. I just didn’t expect her to be so… ignorant. When I suggested that America has always been a country of immigrants, her counter argument was that it has always been a country of humans. But we know that’s just not true. Aliens have been here almost as long as… well, everyone else. It's not as if we suddenly started falling out of the sky in the 50’s.”

“Did you say that?”

“I wish I had. I wasn’t sure how to respond right then and Lena was so excited to show me a prototype for a new device L-Corp is developing.”

“What sort of device?” Alex’s tone became uneasy.

“A scanner… it can identify…” Kara was stalling. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “It's an alien detection device.”

Alex could feel her whole body tense up, her grip on Kara’s hands tightening. The DEO had been keeping tabs on L-Corp’s R & D, but this was completely beyond their intel. She glanced at her phone on the coffee table. She would need to to discuss this with J’onn-

The realization hit her. Her eyes darted back to meet Kara’s and the look she found was all the affirmation she needed. Kara’s eyes were swimming with unshed tears.

“Oh Kara, you didn’t. Do you have any idea what-“

Kara didn’t let her finish. “I didn’t tell her that I was Supergirl. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know. I just… I wanted…” Alex watched as Kara struggled to articulate her reasoning behind making such a reckless decision.

“I wanted her to realize that we exist. That I exist.” Kara finally answered in a shaky voice. Heavy tears began to streak down her cheeks.

And right then, Alex understood. There would be time to address this in her role as an agent later. This was the time to be Kara’s sister. She untangled their hands and brought hers up to rest softly on Kara’s cheeks, thumbing away tears as they fell.

“Tell me what happened” Alex moved her hands to rest on Kara’s shoulders as her sister began recounting her experience in Lena’s office.

“Lena demonstrated how it worked. She… sort of challenged me to try it. And there was a moment where I could have shorted out the device so it would read a false negative. But I didn’t. I know it was a rash decision but I thought that, at the worst, it would reveal Lena’s true stance on aliens. I thought she-“ Kara paused. “-she seemed to like me. As a person. I thought that maybe if it were me, she wouldn’t be so…” Kara let out a sob.

Alex tugged Kara forward and wrapped her in a tight embrace. She cursed internally at the circumstances of such an impossible situation. Judging from Kara’s anguish, she had a pretty good idea of how Lena had reacted. She leaned back against the armrest of the couch, pulling Kara down on top of her. They stayed like that for a while, Kara weeping softly into the collar of Alex’s shirt. Her own eyes burned with unshed tears.

Alex drew soothing patterns with her nails against Kara’s scalp, the way she used to during thunderstorms when they were children. Finally, Kara’s body began to relax. When she felt that Kara had calmed down enough, she asked, “What did you do once she realized you weren’t human?

“I just left.” Kara admitted. “Alex, her eyes… I-I’m used to feeling like an alien, but she looked at me like I was a monster. I felt so ashamed.”

Alex kissed Kara’s forehead and held her tighter. “You’re not a monster, Kara. You are wonderful and beautiful and so so good. You are Not-“ Alex stressed, “a monster.”

Kara sighed.

“You know that I am, and always will be, completely on your side in this,” Alex murmured. “But I think it's not you that she’s afraid of. Not specifically. It's… what she believes you’re capable of.”

“I know.” Kara breathed. “But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”


	3. 2x03 part 3: Article Re-rewrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Research for the article helps Kara process, a well-timed press release from L-Corp, and Alex points out the obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just making stuff up, y'all.  
> Stephanie, you are super!  
> (My dad was adorable and wanted me to elucidate more on alien healthcare.)
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

She had rewritten the article.

Twice.

After Snapper admonished her for using it as a platform for her own ideals, she focused more on the expository of Alien Amnesty. Projected changes to economic development affected by the increase of legitimate documented citizens, infrastructure, an alien healthcare inclusion initiative, etc.. It became a numbers article. To call it a bland would have been kind, not to mention, completely off-base from her original assignment as an opinion piece.

To be honest, it felt good to lose herself in removing the emotional gravity from the issue. Especially after her confession and subsequent breakdown with Alex. In stereotypical older sibling fashion, Alex threatened to confront Lena and "give her what for." The turn of phrase had actually drawn a chuckle from Kara. No, she would have to work this out in her own way... If at all.

In using the article and the events from the last few days to avoid following up with the CEO, she could feel herself sway from her initial stance on the identification device. An official press release on L-Corp’s prototype allowed Kara to incorporate the new development and pad her feature on Lena with the direction the company was now taking in her re-rewrite.

As it turns out, the technology would prove to be especially invaluable to hospitals, provided that the healthcare initiative was approved. Beyond that, it could potentially further advances for spectrum analysis in the field of Xenobiology. It all tied in with the conclusion that if Alien Amnesty was going to be a reality, then there would need to be some real world changes. L-Corp was going to be at the forefront of that change.

There would always be fanatics and fringe elements that could utilize these tools in the oppression of metahumans, but as Kara delved deeper into its application she began to feel that the benefits outweighed the risks. If every innovation had been shut down before its fruition for the sake of keeping its potential gains from falling into the wrong hands… Well, it's not as if Kara didn’t have personal experience on that front.

She resubmitted her piece to Snapper, and again he chided her for too many run-on sentences and a visual metaphor or two... or five, but he nodded in approval at the direction she had taken. He even smirked at her segue on the lack of intervention on the growth of various local hate-groups that had formed since the alien population had achieved a more appreciable integration in society. She was actually pretty proud of that one.

Yes, this had all been very well and good... Until finally, she let herself revisit the still very vivid memory of the incident in Lena's office, and the expression on the young CEO’s face once she realized what Kara was. Each time her mind went back to that moment, the image of Lena’s kryptonite eyes was enough to make her face feel hot with indignity.

They barely knew each other. Why did she feel so affected by this?

Even Alex had asked, going as far as playing the devil's advocate (“devil” in the literal sense in reference to Lex) that maybe Lena's reaction might be justified.

Alex looked over the article in its various stages. With each change or addition made, she would comment on how thorough Kara had been, and the discussion that followed would always result in a proper discourse between the two sisters. It wasn’t until the last draft that Alex no longer offered any sort of critique. As she finished it she simply said “hmmm.”

“Hmmm-what?” Kara asked.

“After reading this, I can’t help but think back to L-Corp’s press release. The timing just seems off. Almost premature. And the whole thing, its tone…”

“What do you mean?”

“In every proclamation on the significance and instrumentation of this new technology, they were very very careful with their rhetoric. Judicious, even. ”

Kara tilted her head, quietly considering what Alex was trying to suggest. “Do you think Lena was worried about how I would represent it in my story?”

“I think the press release was Lena’s apology. To you.” Alex clarified.


	4. 2x03 part 4: Disarming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to pretend that Lena is gay. For science. I mean, she's gay... but also super into science.
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

To say Lena had dressed down would have been an overstatement, but for someone like her, this was about as casual as one could get. Her perfectly tailored clothes, design patterns of crisp lines and sharp angles, camouflaged the softness her figure naturally possessed. Her armor. Her carefully applied lipstick, saturated and opaque - warpaint.

No, today she had forgone her signature look for something less... severe.

Kara's article had been published. She knew it was coming. Dreaded it. When she arrived at L-Corp this morning, Jess had put the recent Catco publication on her desk with a stack of memos and her agenda for the day. There was a sticky note on the cover that read "If you haven't seen this yet, it may be a good way to start your day."

Lena was blown away. She had been preparing for the fallout of a veritable smear campaign after her reaction to Kara's... what would be the appropriate way to refer to it? Admission? Acknowledgment?

No. Disclosure.

Lena had pushed Kara into using the scanner. Hell, after her diatribe on "the peoples' right to know," she had practically cornered her with it. Red light, utter shock. It had performed its purpose all too well.

In that moment, Lena truly registered her defenselessness. Kara could have done anything to her. An alien, standing in Lena's office only a few feet away from her. Nothing separating them but a shiny enamel desk. Except, Kara didn't do anything. Just looked at her with eyes so sad, so haunted. It was such a stark contrast to her previously sunny disposition.

God, Kara's eyes. No one with eyes like that could be of this Earth.

Deciding to table the production of the prototype hadn't been a difficult move. It had only been one facet of the tech they were developing. An incredibly watered down version of something much greater. Much less invasive. So the press release had been a preemptive measure. It had been necessary. With no embedded message or sentiment attached to it whatsoever. Especially not guilt.

Lena ran her hands through her hair, trying(and failing) not to lose herself in the memory of the incident from a couple days prior.  
  
_As Kara left, the click of the door behind her had broken Lena out of her trance. She fell forward, the device clattering on the desk loudly as she gripped the edges of the white postmodern monstrosity in front of her in an attempt to ground herself. After a few deep breaths, she stood up, walked over to the cabinet to her left, and pulled out a well hidden bottle of scotch and a lowball glass. She poured herself a liberal three fingers and gulped it down, wincing at the burn and horrid taste. She hated scotch. The bottle had belonged to Lex._

_She buzzed Jess, asking her to cancel all of her meetings and appointments that day. Lena had a mess to clean up. And she couldn't stop shaking._

_That night, when she had finally retired after nodding off at her desk several times, she lay in bed going over everything she had shared with the reporter. The alien. Jesus, Kara was an alien. Lena rubbed her eyes in exasperation, and tried to make sense of the day's events. Kara could have refused to use the device on the very principle she had argued. But she didn't. Why? What had been her design? Was she a spy? A plant sent to reveal Lena's underlying prejudices?_

_But God, the look on Kara's face. What Lena could see of it, anyway. Kara didn't meet her eyes until a last glance at the door. Lena understood that look. Lena suffered that shame. A declaration in her teens, evidenced by a less than reputable publication that had taken an interest in Lena's... extracurricular activities with one of the girls from her boarding school, left her in quite the same position. Lillian and Lionel had been furious. And Lex had held her as she cried later that evening. The disconnect Lena had with her adopted namesake growing up had already been palpable. Coming out was what finally cemented the dissolution of her use to them._

_Lena knew what it was like to have to hide a defining aspect of her identity. She knew what it meant to be hated._  
  
Lena snapped back to the present. Kara would be there any minute.


	5. 2x03 part 5: Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena finally talk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used a form of the word "disclose" again... Gosh, like a running theme or something.  
> Anyway, I think they should date.
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Lena had been lounging on her office couch, reading through the article for the umpteenth time, when the object of her disquiet was shown in. Kara walked over and deposited herself on the opposite end, clearly in an effort to provide Lena with plenty of space between them. Despite the mask of cheerfulness that was radiating from the blonde, Kara's nervous energy matched her own. 

Lena had been preparing for this. She had outlined everything she wanted to say in her mind, but now that the reporter was here, she didn't know where to begin. An innocuous compliment from Kara about the plumerias displayed on the coffee table set a cordial tone. They exchanged pleasantries over the article, with Kara even admitting to a revelation on her part, and settled into a considerably more comfortable atmosphere than their last meeting.

"Honestly, I'm just so relieved that you wanted to talk." Kara said as she scooted down towards the middle of the couch, drawing nearer to Lena. 

"Do you know what my biggest fear is, Kara?" Lena asked, unconsciously leaning closer to her.

"Me?" Kara answered meekly. It sounded too earnest to be taken as a joke.

"That I'm going to end up like Lex. So paranoid and dogmatic, that'll I'll wind up in his stead. Alone, afraid-“ Lena tried to ignore the sting of tears pricking the corner of her eyes. “Irredeemable.” She finished, barely audible. She turned her head, swiping at an errant drop, struggling to preserve her dignity. The CEO sighed and dropped her hands back to the magazine still resting on her lap. 

Kara reached out, her hand hovering just over Lena's, and waited. Lena's gaze flicked down to monitor the movement. She made no objection to Kara's intended gesture, instead turning over one of her own so it was palm up as an act of permission.

"In light of full disclosure, the way that you were testing me with your prototype, I was testing you too,” Kara confessed, “I wanted to see your reaction. It had been my choice to tell you, but the wrong setting. It was a lot to put on you, knowing your history. I shouldn't have been so indelicate." She slowly and softly cupped her hand over Lena's. As Lena could feel her heart speed up, she swore she saw a hint of red tinge Kara's ears. 

They broke eye contact. Lena stared at the floor as if the answer to their dilemma would suddenly appear there. One that would absolve her indiscretion. She swallowed her pride and focused her attention back to the woman next to her.

"That doesn't excuse my behavior, Kara. I won't pretend that I haven't been influenced by Lex. I go on and on about wanting to be treated as a separate entity, and yet I am predictably a Luthor.” Lena frowned, as if the name itself left a bad taste in her mouth. “For the way I regarded you, I truly regret it." Lena gripped Kara's hand, trying to emphasize her sincerity. "I-I won't tell anyone. What you've shared with me. I won't break that trust.” 

"That shouldn't have the point of giving it, I guess.” Kara relented. “You can't give your trust to someone expecting that they'll break it. You give it in hopes of them keeping it. Otherwise, you never really trusted them in the first place. I've wanted to trust you from the beginning. I feel that I can." 

"How can you be so optimistic?" Lena asked as she worried her lower lip. 

Kara shrugged, a playful smile graced her features. "What can I say? I'm incorrigible."


	6. 2x04: Phone Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena has game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is straight up filler, y'all. The shit is going to hit the fan next chapter. I apologize in advance.
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

-I cannot thank you enough for your help tonight, Lena.-  Kara pressed send. She had barely set her phone down before it chirped a _text-received_ notification

-Of course. I'm glad that your friend is okay.-

Kara sent back a smiley face, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in her stomach.

_"I know you'll be there for me when the time comes." Lena had said. Such weight to those words._

_She had already turned to leave when the brunette called after her._

_"Kara, wait!"_

_She spun around to see Lena bent over her desk and scribbling something on another post-it note. She walked over to where Kara stood and held it out to her. Despite the blush creeping up her neck, the CEO's expression remained perfectly stoic._

Lena Luthor's personal cellphone number. 


	7. 2x05 part 1: Gala (shit hits the fan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gala=shitstorm  
> !!Warning!!! Major character injury!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. Dick move on my part. 
> 
> (Sorry again, Stephanie)
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Kara hadn't seen it in time. The electromagnetic pulse emitted by the black body field generator had been more than enough to disable the alien weaponry, but that hadn’t been all that these thugs were carrying. The shot rang out and Lena lunged in front of her, literally throwing herself into the trajectory of the bullet intended for Supergirl.

She heard the impact in sickening detail. The sound of the bullet spiraling through flesh, grazing over bone, and punching out the other side, reverberated through her. In a blink, Kara disarmed and subdued the criminal, leaving just enough time to catch Lena before she hit the ground. The hero cradled the fallen woman, and tried to staunch the bleeding from the wound on her shoulder. Red bloomed between Kara's fingers. 

Lena struggled to focus on the the features of the girl holding her. "Hey-" She said in a breathy voice, " I know you." 

Their faces were inches apart. Kara could feel the warm puff of Lena's words on her lips.

"What did you do?" Kara pleaded. "What did you do?"

Lena went limp in her arms.


	8. 2x05 part 2: Breaking News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the gala(shitstorm).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex totally knows.
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

The cover story for every media outlet read some iteration of "Luthor Shields Super."

Alex called it a million dollar wound. No fragmentation, clean through, nothing vital hit. 

Everywhere she turned, Kara was bombarded with imagery from the night of the the gala. Coupled with Lena refusing to see her at the hospital(both versions of her) and ignoring her calls and texts, the Kryptonian felt like she was going mad. She hadn't felt this tightly wound since Astra...

L-Corp was on lockdown. Anything newsworthy had been carefully crafted by the CEO's publicists. Fortunately, the DEO had taken the liberty to put Lena under close observation, lest she be targeted again. Alex kept Kara informed with every new development, thank Rao. 

"They're releasing her from the hospital today."

Kara jerked her head up to look at Alex. She had been idly spinning around on one of the lab chairs, waiting for her next directive, when the agent walked in to give her the news.

"Lena's going to be fine.” Alex watched her carefully. "Do you want to try to call her again?"

Kara frowned. ”No... I already know she won't pick up, and I've left an inappropriate number of voicemails as it is."

"She's going home, Kara." Alex looked at her with a puckish smile and twinkling eyes. "I'm just saying." She stared at Kara until she felt the message had been received.

It had. Loud and clear.


	9. 2x05 Part 3: Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara visits Lena. Lena is less than enthused. They get a lot of things out in the open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, this is getting very nearly romantic. Stuff is happening, y'all.  
> Also, I like the idea of Kara not being completely dubious in her realization on the depths of her feelings for Miss Luthor.
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Kara circled the building multiple times, scoping out the residence before making her approach. She spotted a security detail stationed at every entrance, equipped with remote kill-switches for the electronic locks and elevators. No one without clearance would be going up. Every precaution had been taken.

Kara trained her sight on the penthouse. Empty, save for one warm body curled up on the couch. There was a balcony that looked into a dimly lit open-concept living room. Kara touched down without a sound and peered in to see Lena concentrating on the illuminated surface of a tablet. Working, no doubt. She looked so... young.

Kara lightly rapped on the glass with her knuckles. Lena gave a start, reaching for her phone with difficulty, the sling fitted around her shoulder constraining her movements. She searched frantically for the source of the sound, phone in her hand poised to call for help. The brunette's expression was not dissimilar from the one when she realized that Kara was an alien. Her attention fell on the balcony. Once she registered what she was seeing, Lena set her phone back down and moved the tablet off her lap to the couch. She made her way over to the door that separated them, her eyes never leaving Kara's. She turned the lock and pulled it open just enough to fit her frame, keeping the Super's path into the apartment blocked.

"Supergirl. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Lena asked in an icy tone.

So that's how it was going to be.

Lena looked pale. Well, paler than usual. Dark circles under her eyes, hair in a messy bun, and wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Under different circumstances, Kara would have chuckled at the sight of someone like Lena Luthor in sweatpants. Regardless of all of these things, she still looked like the most formidable woman Kara had ever seen.

"Miss Luthor." She folded her arms in front of her, immediately going on the defensive

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, obviously frustrated. "Okay, you know what? I can't do this. I'm tired and I'm sore. Can we drop this idiotic pretense, Kara?"

Kara stiffened, then dropped her arms to her sides. She gulped and simply nodded.

With a sigh, Lena stepped back away from the door, allowing the red and blue clad hero entry into her home.

"I know this is very untoward, but I've been so worried about you, Lena. You haven't answered any of my messages. I had to see you and-" Lena wouldn't let Kara finish.

"-So you just show up to my home, unannounced, and... Wait," Lena paused, and recalled doing the same thing just before the gala, having noticeably interrupted a moment between Kara and her sister. "I did that..." 

"You took a bullet for me. For Supergirl." Kara corrected herself. "Why would you put yourself in harm's way like that?"

Lena looked away, clenching her jaw. "I just reacted, that's all."

"It was very heroic."

Lena rolled her eyes and started to turn away. "Don't patronize me, Kara."

Without thinking, the blonde reached for her. Lena flinched and put her hand out to stop her, and Kara pulled back. "I'm not patronizing you." Kara protested and turned away from the CEO, taking a moment to conceal how vulnerable she knew she looked after being rebuffed, then turned back to face the frightened woman. "I'm sorry." Her tone imploring more than just forgiveness for invading personal space.

Lena closed her eyes and collected herself. She then focused back on the hero, glowering. "We were suppose to trust each other." 

"I never lied to you." 

"A lie through omission is still a lie, Kara." Lena countered.

"It's not for the reason you think." Kara professed. "This is about more than my status as an alien. I didn't hide being Supergirl from you because I don't trust you. I've been trying to protect you. As soon as anyone close to me knows my true identity, they have a bullseye painted on their back. You know this, you've faced it already. And I could have- No! I can’t, I won’t-” Kara's voice broke as she asserted, "Lose you." 

Lena's resolve crumbled at Kara's confession. "Why? Why do you care so much? Why does this, do I, matter to you?"

"I can't explain why, it's... ineffable. The best way I can try to begin to articulate it, is that I feel as though we run, I don’t know, parallel?” Kara nodded to herself, satisfied with her word choice, “Yes, parallel to each other."

"No," Lena shook her head, "that's not good enough.” Her voice grew heated. “Do you know why your terrible disguise of glasses and a ponytail is so effective? It's because you're two different people, Kara. Literally, two completely different personas! And I can't tell which is the real you."

“They both are. It's only a confidence thing.” Kara conceded.

"Confidence,” Lena scrutinized. “Really?” More a challenge than a question.

"Because... as Kara, I'm bound by the same conventions and limitations as everybody else. I have to be so careful all the time! As Supergirl, I can be free. I can be extraordinary!" Kara exclaimed.

“Jesus, Kara, you really don’t get it. You are extraordinary! Whether you're in red and blue,” Lena quirked an eyebrow, "or pastel."

"So, how _did_ you, um, you know…” Kara shifted uncomfortably as she asked, “figure it out?”

"I saw your eyes. And your scar." Emboldened by the Kryptonian's apparent self-consciousness, Lena reached up and lightly brushed the small indentation next to Kara's eyebrow with her thumb.

Kara swallowed and stepped closer to the brunette. “You know what I think, Lena?”

“What's that?" Lena's hand traveled down so her palm rested against the House of El sigil, not letting the _Girl of Steel_ advance any further.

Kara brought both of her hands up and placed them over Lena's, carefully increasing its pressure on her chest. "Maybe it isn't ineffable. You asked why I care, why you matter to me. I think... you halted production on the prototype for the same reason I came here tonight." 

Lena drew her hand away, speechless. 

"Goodnight, Miss Luthor." Kara whispered. She let herself out the same way she came in.

 


	10. 2x08 Part 1: The Beginning is the End is the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite her initial reservations, necessity leads Kara to be forthright with Lena about Lillian's involvement with Cadmus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena have been gal palling around. Just gals being pals. Like they do.
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

“You’ve been cancelling plans, noncommittal at rescheduling, barely responsive with texts and emails.” Lena rattled off a list of Kara’s offenses, her edge inhibited by a traitorous quiver in her voice  “You’ve been avoiding me, Kara.” 

_“And just what are you to my daughter?”_

_“A friend.”_

_Those lines echoed in Kara’s mind, over and over. It made the crook of her arm throb. She could still feel the stick of the needle, visualize every vial they had callously drawn from her as she lay helpless, strapped down... violated. And Jeremiah…_

Yes, Kara had been avoiding Lena Luthor. 

Since the night she had shown up at Lena’s home, they had settled into a routine. Kara visited her regularly as she recovered. Once Lena was well enough to return to L-Corp (which had been too soon in Kara’s opinion), she made a point to drop by as often as she could, even bringing Lena dinner from Noonan’s on the nights she would see the light of CEO’s office shining bright in the scape of the city. And it was a relief to not have to come up with some thrown-together excuse every time she was called away for her duties as Supergirl. Lena would simply nod in understanding, and off Kara would go. 

It all coincided nicely with the timing of Alex deciding to repair her friendship with Maggie. A few nights that would have normally been designated as sister-time, she had invited Lena over instead. To be honest, she was surprised the brunette agreed to it. 

It all started with a call from Maggie, asking the agent to join her for a drink. She began to decline, but Kara encouraged Alex to go, ensuring that there would be no hurt feelings on her part. Then the thought occurred to her on a whim, and Kara extended the offer for pizza and a movie to the girl she found occupying her mind more and more. Lena arrived within the hour. The movie went largely ignored that night as they sat ensconced in Kara’s apartment, talking and laughing over greasy slices. 

Like an unspoken agreement, neither of them made an attempt to bring up what Kara said that night in Lena’s penthouse. As if it might break some spell, or cause the still rather precarious foundation of their friendship to crumble. 

I wasn’t until she was lured into a trap and abducted by Cadmus, had she been fully confronted with the reality of Lena’s ties as a Luthor. Following her assisted escape and subsequent return to the DEO, Kara’s weakened state had her ordered into compulsory convalescence. Taking advantage of her time recuperating and working with Alex on the new intel involving Jeremiah resurfacing enabled Kara to excuse her near radio silence with Lena, but not without difficulty. It weighed heavily on her conscience. Once J’onn and Winn voiced their intentions to hack into Lena’s private files in order to ascertain her involvement with Cadmus, Kara petitioned an approach that wouldn’t so unceremoniously infringe on the CEO’s rights, volunteering to do some “recon” of her own. Meaning she would need to confront Lena. And to Kara, it felt like the beginning of the end.

So here she was, sitting opposite of the woman in question. Lena’s kryptonite stare bore into her. There was no clemency to be had in that gaze.

“Okay, yes… I’m sorry, it's just… I-I need to tell you something.” Kara stammered. “You’re not going to want to hear it. I think maybe you’ll hate me for it.”

Lena readied herself. Back straight, shoulders squared. Assume crash positions.

Kara drew her own shoulders in, feeling smaller with each passing moment. Lena’s office had turned cavernous around her. She slowly recounted her run-in with Cadmus, and with one individual in particular. She watched every micro-expression as Lena’s walls came up. Jaw clenching at odd intervals, the corners of her lips faintly tugged down, how the cords of her neck twitched. 

“My mother?” Lena questioned

“Yes.” Kara confirmed.

“Cadmus.” Lena stated.

“Yes.” Kara repeated.

Lena got up from her desk. She stiffly walked over the the window overlooking the city, folding her arms in front of her, keeping her back to Kara. She let out a shaky breath.

“You may leave, Kara.”

“Lena, I-“ Kara began to protest.

“You may leave.” Lena commanded this time, the tremor in her voice much more pronounced.


	11. 2x08 Part 2: We are NOT Star-crossed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How 2x08 should have ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I'm done with the angst. The next chapter is going to be pure fluff.
> 
> A special thanks to Spitfire303! Your comment gave me the idea for the chapter title!
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

With the arrival of the flashing red and blue lights, the scene quickly became overrun with the DEO and various other vague abbreviated government agencies. A jurisdictional nightmare. Kara had only been able to catch a glimpse of Lena, looking on with hooded eyes as her mother was handcuffed and stowed in the back of a black unmarked SUV. After that, everyone dispersed to their designated employments. 

Kara’s first priority after being debriefed that night was to locate Lena Luthor. The penthouse was empty. She found her at L-Corp, of all places. Standing on the balcony outside of her office, elbows propped on the railing, hands hanging over the edge and clasped together. The lights of National City glittered in her eyes.

Kara hovered in front of her, waiting for some sort of invitation. The brunette wouldn’t acknowledge her.

“I was looking for you.” Kara finally blurted.

“I know. I can see my apartment from here. I watched you.” Lena replied in an oddly detached manner.

“Can we please talk about what happened?” Kara beseeched.

“This is how it's always going to be, isn’t it?” Lena queried, as if she hadn’t heard Kara. “I’ll never be able to escape the sins of my family.”

“Lena, what you did tonight… You saved thousands of lives. This isn’t about Lex or Lillian. This is about you.” 

“But it will never be enough.” Lena countered. “You were right about what you said that night.” Kara tilted her head in confusion. Lena locked eyes with the hero and continued. “We are parallel. Two lines, never meant to converge.”

“No!” Kara fumed. “I will not accept that. We are not doing this _And Never the Twain Shall Meet_ bullshit!” Lena raised her eyebrows, having never heard the Super swear before. “You aren't your brother, Lena. And I'm not Kal-el. We are not just foils to each other.”

Kara struggled to compose herself. She looked down at her clenched fists, noting the bite of her nails digging into her palm.

“Can you please stop that?” Lena asked with a pained expression.

“Stop what?” Kara huffed.

“The way you’re suspended in front of me.” Lena answered as she moved to grip the railing of the balcony. “It's giving me vertigo.”

“Oh…” Kara replied sheepishly. ”Do you want me to leave?”

Lena considered Kara’s question for a beat before responding. “No.”

Kara flew closer and situated herself so that she sat perched on the railing next to Lena, sharing her view of the city. 

“I never once believed that you were going to do it.” Kara finally declared, referring to the missile launch earlier that night.

“And when I did?” Lena inquired. Even as they addressed each other, neither woman attempted to make eye contact.

Kara’s cheeks burned. In the slew of feelings she had been flooded with, out of the murk, one rose to the surface. “It broke my heart.”

Lena sighed. “The look on your face when I turned the key… It broke mine too.”

The view of the city swam in front of Kara. She heard a rustle of fabric as Lena shifted next to her. The kryptonian felt cold fingertips skate down her arm through the material of her costume, pausing at her wrist. Lena gently picked up Kara’s hand from where it lay on her lap, guiding it down to rest on the railing in the space between them, and intertwined their fingers together tightly.

“What happens now?” Kara pondered aloud.

“I don’t know.” The CEO murmured, shaking her head lightly. 

Kara exhaled and slumped her shoulders. “I’m exhausted.”

“Me too.” Lena smiled in spite of herself as she agreed, furtively stealing a glance of the blonde. A sight far more breathtaking than the illuminated cityscape before them.

 


	12. Sometime between 2x08-09: Flowers and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena’s spontaneity pays dividends!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everything I put you through up until this point...
> 
> You get some fluff. And YOU get some fluff! EVERYBODY GETS SOME FLUFF!!!
> 
> And do you guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

“I thought you could use something to brighten your desk.” Lena said, unable to suppress the radiant smile reserved for when she was in Kara’s presence. The CEO hoisted the squat vase of plumerias she was carrying higher into view for emphasis.

“You brought me flowers?” Kara asked, almost slack-jawed. Her attention immediately redirected to the fragrant blossoms.

“I remembered that you said you liked them. How they reminded you of your mother.” Lena added, peering down at the the soft white petals thoughtfully, marveling at how the yellow that spread out of the center resembled tiny sunbursts.

“You brought me flowers.” Kara stated warmly, with wide and hopeful eyes.

“I-I… Yes.” Lena made an effort to reign in her enthusiasm, suddenly disconcerted by her, admittedly, impulsive decision in bringing the small bouquet herself. She could have easily sent a courier, but… the opportunity to see the reporter inspired her to make the impromptu delivery. 

Kara gently took the vase from Lena and set it carefully on the corner of her desk, taking a moment to appreciate their loveliness, before turning back to the woman standing by her.

“They’re beautiful, Lena, thank you. Thank you so much.” Kara said as she drew Lena towards her and wrapped her in a tight embrace. Lena stiffened at first, but quickly felt herself relaxing into the warmth that emanated from Kara. 

Reluctant to do so, Lena pulled away, still very aware of where they stood. As they parted, Kara reached for Lena’s hand and squeezed it lightly.

“I’m sorry to just run in and out like this, but I really must be going.” Lena said as she checked her watch casually, settling back into her reserved disposition.

“Of course, of course. Thank you again, Lena. This is so thoughtful.” Kara beamed as she gestured to the plumerias.  

Lena gave a gracious nod. Neither woman moved to break eye contact. The rest of the Catco print media department disappeared around them, the hustle of the floor dampened by their intense focus on one another. Lena could see a thought form behind Kara’s eyes, like the girl had been struck with an epiphany.

“Let me walk you out!” Kara exclaimed, brimming with excitement.

“No, really. That’s not necessary.” Lena contested demurely. 

“I insist, Lena.” Kara spoke so resolutely, it would have been impossible to not accommodate her.

The bespectacled woman fidgeted nervously as they rode down the elevator together. 

Lena’s town car was waiting at the curb. As the driver started to step around the vehicle to open the door for the CEO, Kara caught his eye and shook her head. He nodded in understanding, and stepped back to the driver’s side. Kara reached for the rear passenger door handle, but Lena waved her off.

“Really Kara, you don’t have to get the door for me.“ Lena objected, bemused by the girl’s curious behavior.

“I want to-” Kara threw her hands up in frustration. “I feel like I need to do something!”

“You don’t need to do anything for me. This-“ Lena gestured back and forth between herself and the Kryptonian, “- isn’t transactional.”

“I know, it’s just that…” Kara began as she stepped closer to Lena. Even with the brunette wearing a rather intimidating pair of heels, the blonde still had the height advantage. Lena looked up, studying the intent in the blue eyes before her. Kara reached out and tenderly cupped Lena’s face in her hands, softly stroking the pads of her thumbs over flushed cheeks. She followed the curve of Lena’s jaw down to her chin with her fingertips. Lena sucked in a breath as Kara lightly traced the outline of her bottom lip, her own hands finding purchase on the taller girl’s waist. Her eyelids fluttered closed as Kara leaned in.

“You brought me flowers” Kara said for the third time, a whisper against Lena’s lips before covering them with her own. 

Kissing Kara was like being bathed in sunlight. Ardent, consuming, exhilarating…and over far too quickly. Eyes still shut, Kara rested her forehead against Lena’s, both girls basking in the magnetic relief their proximity provided. 

A whistle from a random passerby startled the two women out of the blissful haze they had fallen into. Kara glared in the direction of the impertinence and Lena couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the Super’s look of irritation. 

“You,” Lena gushed as she stood up on her toes and planted a kiss on Kara’s cheek, “are adorable.”

 


	13. End of 2x09: Broken Balconies and Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena is stressed by Kara’s absence.
> 
> After Supergirl returns from Maaldoria, she makes a much needed visit. She’s… a little overzealous in her landing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys like Supercorp fan art? Because I made [some!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)
> 
> I’m not done with the fluff y’all.
> 
> (mon-who?)

Lena rubbed her temples. Pent-up anxiety hindered her focus on the work in front of her. A tension headache threatened to take hold.

It had only been a few days since she had last seen Kara. The young reporter was following a lead on a missing person's case. Lena's time had been divided between meetings and various standard L-Corp operating procedures. She found herself counting down the moments between Kara's text updates and emails. It was like clockwork. Messages spanned from simple "how are you" inquiries to "thinking of you." Every time Lena's phone vibrated or piped its notification tone, her heart skipped a beat. She would check the messages expectantly, her chest flooding with warmth upon reading each one from the object of her increasing affection.

Except for the last 19 hours. Nothing. Lena’s last sent message still _unread_. 

The rational part of her knew that this was expected. Lord knows what sort of crisis Supergirl was averting. It's not as if the city's problems could be so easily solved, tidily wrapped up in a bow in the span of 43 minutes with breaks for commercials. 

No, Lena was prepared for this. She had told herself over and over that she would need to accommodate radio silence in the event of some obscure catastrophe. She might have the privilege of knowing Kara's identity, but she was still strictly _need to know_ when it came to the DEO's activity. Lena could hardly expect Kara to give her the play-by-play. She was bound by protocol. 

That didn't loosen the steel grip on Lena's heart, growing tighter with each passing hour. 

That is, until the Super practically crashed into her balcony. 

The weather was clear and beautiful. Even at the height of Lena's office, the winds were low enough to warrant propping the door to the outside open. She had been working at her desk, ambient sounds from the city drifting up to her in a comforting white noise. 

The impact caused the floor beneath her feet to quake and the windows behind her rattled violently. All the loose papers flew off of her desk. Lena whirled around to face the balcony. She barely had time to register the red and blue on the other side of the glass before it blurred, darting through the open door and stopping in front of her. Papers were sent fluttering around the room again, caught in the hero's wake. She was about to speak when her office door swung open. Security personnel poured in, guns drawn. Jess frantically tried to elbow her way in past them. 

They had excellent response time, Lena could give them that. She looked back and forth between the armed men and the Kryptonian. She stood up from the desk chair, smoothing out her blouse and skirt, collecting herself before addressing the aggravated detail.

"It's alright. I am in no danger. You're dismissed." Lena advised.

They stood rooted in place.

"Oh right!" Lena cursed internally, remembering their directive to wait for the word to signal a false alarm. "Amosdeus." Lena said forcefully.

They nodded, holstering their weapons and filing out of the office. Only Jess remained, eyeing Lena and Supergirl suspiciously.

"Jess... thank you. You may return to your desk." Lena gently instructed.

"Yes, Miss Luthor." Lena noted the caution in her assistant’s voice.

Kara waited for the door to shut behind Jess completely before she launched into a rambling apology.

"I'm so sorry, Lena. I got here as soon as I could. I would have called you, but my phone died while I was on the other side of the portal and there was no signal on that planet. And I had no way to charge my phone in the cell they kept us and Alex always tells me to carry an external battery pack-" A loud crack came from outside, causing both of them to jump and look out the window. A rather noticeable fissure bisected the concrete deck. "And I think I may have caused some structural damage to your balcony..."

Lena bit her lip, struggling to keep her composure. Her shoulders began to shake.

"Oh gosh, Lena, are you okay?" Kara stepped forward reaching for the brunette, but her trepidation prevented her from making contact. 

One look at the concerned blonde and Lena couldn't hold it in anymore. She... 

Burst out laughing. She laughed until her sides hurt, until she couldn't breathe and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Am I okay?!" Lena cried, still gasping for breath. "You just told me you were stranded on another planet!" Again, she was in fits. 

"I-I did... I was" Kara stuttered out her confirmation. Her worried expression smoothed out into an embarrassed smile. She bashfully fidgeted with something enveloped in her hand as Lena regained control of herself. 

"Wow," Lena chuckled as she wiped the tears from under her eyes, offhandedly grateful for the existence of waterproof mascara. "I can't remember the last time I laughed like that." 

"I brought you something! Hold out your hand." Lena raised an eyebrow at the Kryptonian and did as she was told. Kara placed something small and rough on her open palm. Lena looked down in anticipation.

"It's... a rock." She said flatly.

"It's a space rock!" Kara exclaimed, with jazz hands. Literally. Jazz hands. "Winn gave me the idea." (And by that, Kara meant she had coerced him into giving her one of his.) "It's from where I was." She clarified.

Lena grinned and shook her head in disbelief. "I think this is the strangest and most romantic thing anyone has ever given me."

Kara closed the gap between them, grabbing Lena's waist and pulling her in so they stood chest to chest. Lena loosely draped her arms around Kara's neck, looking up into blue eyes that had turned solemn. Her gaze had a sobering effect.

"I missed you." Kara admitted. "The entire time I was stuck there, all I could think was - I hope I get to see Lena Luthor again."

Lena didn't trust her voice to respond. She tightened her hold and rested her chin on the blonde's shoulder, reaffirming Kara's presence and marveling at how someone could feel so soft and so sturdy at the same time. Kara shifted slightly and Lena felt a kiss pressed to her temple. Like a miracle cure, the tension from the last day dissipated. 

"I'm just relieved that you're okay." Lena whispered.

"Me too." Kara agreed. She pulled back so she could rest her forehead against Lena's.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Lena probed.

"I will, but not now." Kara answered. "Later." She added.

"Okay..." Lena trailed off.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Kara asked.

"I don't know, I'd have to check my calendar." Lena teased. She knew perfectly well what she was doing the following evening. 

"Please do!" Kara eagerly encouraged and released her hold on the CEO.

Taken aback by the sudden loss of contact and Kara's emphatic prompting, Lena made a show of picking up her tablet to bring up her schedule. "I'm meeting with a -" Lena abandoned her display, smiling and biting her lower lip. "I should be free by 8."

"Good, I'll pick you up at 8:30!" Kara declared.

"Kara Danvers, did you just ask me on a date?" Lena feigned astonishment.

"No, I'm telling you that you have one." Kara countered cheekily.

 


	14. 2x10: Not Your Typical Shovel Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean, it says it all in the chapter title. 
> 
> Alex is super awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made more [ Supergirl fanart](http://gluffman.tumblr.com) y'all.
> 
> (The show is killing me right now. Like, why? Why you do this?)

 

Lena took a moment to verify the next appointment on her agenda. _“DEO rep: 2pm”_   The time currently read 2:07. Whoever they were sending was late. 

No sooner than Lena had settled back into her chair, the comm on her desk beeped. 

“Miss Luthor, your 2pm.”

As the woman was shown in, Lena practically shot out of her seat. She swiftly crossed the room, her heart rate rapidly speeding up.

“Agent Danvers. Is something-?”

Alex interrupted the distressed CEO’s questioning. “This is just a follow-up on the incident report concerning the damage done to your balcony.” She waved a manilla envelope as evidence and elaborated pointedly, “By Supergirl.” 

Lena exhaled, her frantic reaction to seeing Kara’s sister quickly replaced with apprehension. “Well, I assure you, I have no qualms with taking care of it in-house. This is unnecessary.” She offered dismissively, gesturing to the paperwork Alex was holding.

“The preliminary forms have already been filed. Even the DEO isn’t above being audited.“ Alex scoffed as she studied the shift from Lena’s usual aplomb. The CEO was normally so poised, seemingly unflappable. The tempestuous effect her presence had on Lena was not lost on the agent. 

“When my schedule indicated a meeting with a representative from the DEO, I was expecting an analyst not an operative. I’m having a hard time believing that something so… administrative, falls under your responsibility.” Lena assessed, “One might even assume that the reason you’re here has a much less functionary intent.” 

Alex quirked a guarded smile. "Miss Luthor, officially, I'm here merely in the capacity of emissary."

"And unofficially?" Lena asked nervously. She was painfully aware of how vulnerable she must sound, but Alex had already witnessed the panicked reaction to her arrival. It was too late to save face.

"You've made a safe assumption.” Alex confirmed, dropping her tacit facade.

Lena suppressed a defeated sigh and mentally braced herself for what she presumed would be the infamous _shovel talk_ , having imagined how this would go many times. Alex barging into her office, listing off the innumerable plights attached to her name, and assuring Lena of the resources available to make her life a living hell. Ultimately, telling her that she wasn’t worthy of Kara. 

Lena gestured to the chair in front of her desk. “Please, sit. May I offer you something to drink?” Her tone was practiced and polite.

“Water?” Alex requested, resting the envelope she had been carrying on Lena's desk before taking a seat.

Lena nodded and set to obliging the agent. In the corporate world, she was accustomed to ingratiating herself to those who thought so little of her. Proverbial _ass-kissing_. Why should her personal life be any different?

“I’m sorry.” 

Lena faltered as she poured. She set the carafe down harder than intended, the clatter of the drink tray echoed throughout the office. She spun around to face the older Danvers. “Come again?”

“I’m sorry.” Alex enunciated.

“I-I don’t understand.” Of all of the scenarios Lena had played out in her head, of all the condescensions… 

“When Kara was stranded on Maaldoria, I didn’t consider you.” Alex divulged as she sat forward on her chair, orienting it away from the desk to face Lena’s direction. “I know what’s going on between the two of you, and I didn’t consider how her absence would impact you.” 

Lena’s heart dropped. She glanced at the lucite cube on her desk, encasing the _space rock_ Kara had brought her. She leaned back, letting the counter behind her support her weight.

Alex continued. “There are _things_ that you’re going to want to know, but no matter the situation or circumstance, it’s never going to help. If you had any idea of how close we’ve come to meeting our end, just how many times we’ve…” Alex trailed off, sporting the same haunted look Lena had seen in Kara’s eyes. A family trait, perhaps.

“It's never going to help.” Alex reiterated, before adding. “And Kara is never going to stop. You'll watch her throw herself at every threat, time and time again. It never gets easier. She's prepared to die in order to protect us.” 

“I wouldn’t ask her to stop.” Lena pledged. "I won't." She turned back to the tray behind her, finished pouring the glass, and brought it over to the waiting agent. As Alex accepted the drink and took a sip, Lena couldn’t help but voice her bewilderment at the woman's prudence.

“I have to admit, Alex-” Lena finally tested the girl’s first name. It felt strange on her tongue, but the effort had been made. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be supportive of Kara’s association with me.” 

Alex sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “You know, I nearly sabotaged my relationship. The only one that has ever truly mattered to me outside of my family, outside of Kara. For the first time in... ever, I feel happy. I have something that’s mine. And I almost threw it all away. I treated it as though it were nothing more than a distraction when I couldn't see beyond my fear of losing Kara.” 

Lena nodded, appreciating Alex’s candor. She felt herself begin to relax in the presence of the older Danvers.

“Not to belabor the pressure of the job, but I’ve always felt as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. For Kara, it's quite literal. And I’m here telling you this because I believe that you could potentially be what saves her from it.” 

“From… from the world?” Lena ventured, unsure if she had properly gleaned what Alex was trying to communicate.

“She’s seen you change, Lena, and the change you’ve affected. You embody everything that she is fighting to protect. She has so much hope for you. That’s a hell of a weight in and of itself. I already know that you have no intention of hurting her. But I need to hear you promise that you’ll do everything in your power not to let her down.” 

“You really love her.” Lena murmured, staggered by Alex's plain-spoken sincerity.

“Don’t you?” Alex asked rhetorically.

 


	15. 2x11: Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M’gann observes Lena’s introduction to the rest of the Super-Family, and provides some insight for the anxious CEO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bring back M'gann, SHOW! DANG!
> 
> I made some Supergirl fanart of our favorite [ #spacedad](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Unrepressed telepathy is like standing in a crowded room where everyone is talking at the same time to no one in particular. A lifetime(or many in M'gann's case) of practice can reduced these projections to a low chatter, but after the psychic attacks and everything with J'onn... She was just so damn tired. Several of the DEO personnel showing up at the bar to support her return to civilian life wasn't helping. They meant well, but she couldn’t shake the edge. Her people were coming…

Sensing discordance, M’gann concentrated on a young couple that had stepped away from the group. She busied herself with wiping down the bar top as she watched Agent Danvers and Detective Sawyer engage in a rather tense conversation. What she could pick up had something to do with the younger Danvers. 

As if on cue, the perky reporter bounced in with someone in tow.

Okay, Wow! With Lena Luthor in tow. 

Before their arrival, the room was simply loud. A dull roar of white noise. With Lena, it was deafening. The girl might as well be screaming at the top of her lungs.

Lena was clearly reluctant to be here. Kara looked back at the anxious woman behind her, and stopped. M'gann could hear soft words of encouragement as the Kryptonian tenderly draped an arm around the brunette's shoulders, and guided her towards the group. M'gann liked the sunny blonde. Whereas most people and aliens alike were subject to broadcast their internal narrative, Kara's mind was like looking through the keyhole of a closed door. She would catch glimpses here and there of Krypton, or first and last remembered looks of Kara’s loved ones... Like little animated snapshots on loop. Miss Luthor had joined the roster.

Their entrance hadn’t gone unnoticed, and it didn't take long for heads to start turning. The gaze of every alien followed the L-Corp CEO as a hush fell over the bar. M'gann sighed and bowed her head, struggling to separate the voices, trying to distinguish thoughts of rage or violence. A nearly indiscernible creak of chair legs scraping across the floor centered M'gann's mental probing on a burly Toomian. He had vacated his seat and was walking towards the group with purpose. Alex assumed a defensive stance, ready to intervene, but was stilled by Maggie.

He stopped just behind Lena, looming over her with his massive frame. So overwhelmed by her surroundings and visibly confused at the bar going quiet, she hadn’t caught on to the change in the bar patrons’ focus, no longer trained her, but the figure at her back.

Finally sensing his presence, Lena turned. To the Luthor's credit, she didn't jump, but her fear was palpable. The Toomian's rumbling voice permeated the now nearly silent bar as he held out a clawed hand. Lena gaped at it for a moment before understanding his intent. She shook his hand firmly, an autopilot of professionalism, and it was over. The Toomian returned to his seat. The tension dissipated, and the crowd resumed their activities. M'gann breathed a sigh of relief as Kara beamed at the shaken woman. 

The evening progressed without incident. Various groups would linger at the bar as they ordered their drinks, engaging her in breezy smalltalk with deliberate regularity. It was heartening to know that she had been missed. Despite the encroaching threat, she could feel herself settle back into her routine, finding comfort through familiarity. Most of the customers’ voices in her head dampened. If only a certain someone could be a little quieter…

M’gann winced as Lena made her way over to the bar, thankful that physical proximity wouldn’t necessarily increase the volume of the woman’s thoughts. They were coming through with a sparkling clarity though. She began filling the Luthor’s order.

“I’d like to cover the next pitcher” Lena offered, already holding a charge card out for M’gann to take.

She couldn’t stand it anymore. The girl was just SO. Damn. Loud. “I’m surprised you could tear yourself away from L-Corp at a time like this. And to be here, of all places.”

Lena blinked through her surprise at M’gann’s comment before shaking her head and replying “It’s certainly been an adjustment. I wasn’t expecting to be received so well.” 

M’gann smirked as she placed the full glass in front of the CEO. “I’d guess that there isn't a being in this bar who wouldn't know your face, Luthor.” 

Lena looked down in shame at the mere mention of her name. “They seem to hold more stock in my credibility than most.”

“Hey, we are all struggling here. We are, all of us, running or hiding from something-someone. Many of us are fugitives, refugees,” M'gann shrugged, "Immigrants. Sometimes, we're running from ourselves. The things we've done. Our past. No one here would begrudge you your family's name, and in return, hold you accountable for it. You, much like the rest of us, do not have to be a product of your people."

“I wish believing was as simple as knowing. That I am not my family's actions.” 

“You're not. Regardless, you bear their weight with incredible grace.” M’gann pointed out.

“It's not real.” Lena said dejectedly.

“I know.” M’gann replied with a sympathetic smile. She gestured around the bar. “This is the closest thing many of us have to a safe haven. So, what about you? Have you found your sanctuary yet?”

It was like turning down the sound on a stereo. Lena peered over to where she had ventured from, green eyes settling on the smiling argyle-clad woman deep in conversation with Winn and James, and murmured, “I think so.” 

For the first time that night, M’gann had silence in her head.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma apologize in advance. Got some drimmy-dramz (DRAMA) coming up after this.


	16. End of 2x12: White Knight + Black Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unforeseen effects of Metallo's kryptonite core makes an already wretched situation exponentially worse. This version of "Luthors" doesn't end in flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for irradiating Lena :/
> 
> To make up for it, I made MORE Supergirl fanart! [ Alex](http://gluffman.tumblr.com) because she is the actual best!

“You just let her go?!” Kara raised her voice.

“We had no reason to keep her. She’s not in any danger and it’ll wear off before- SUPERGIRL!” Alex shouted after her sister, but it was too late. The hero had taken off before Alex could explain any further. 

She didn’t bother checking the penthouse this time. 

Sounds of Chet Baker wafted out into the night through the open balcony door. The desk was unoccupied. Kara took a moment to observe Lena before making her final descent. She was sitting on the office couch, sipping a glass of wine and staring at a chess set on the coffee table in front of her. Tilting her head, Lena reached out to pick up the white knight, and examined it in her hand for an instant before placing it beside the black queen. 

Kara could have set down soundlessly, but she didn't. The soft thud of her boots hitting the recently repaired deck was just enough to get Lena's attention without alarming her. 

Even when the door was open, she would usually stop and courtesy knock on the frame before making her way in, but urgency disregarded etiquette. Now she just desperately wanted to be close to Lena. To wrap herself around the brunette, and never let her go. As Kara approached, the air grew thick with unease about the waiting woman. She stopped a few feet in front of the coffee table, as if an invisible barrier blocked her from advancing any further. She knew she was feeling the effects that Alex had tried to warn her about. Kara listened to the steady metronome of Lena’s heartbeat. Dread settled like a brick in the pit of her stomach. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Kara. I thought they would have told you. Alex said-“ 

“She did. She said that when the DEO processed you, even with decontamination, there may be some lingering effects from the synthesized kryptonite. Like, contact transfer. But Lena, you should have stayed there.” Kara gently advised.

“And be put under quarantine? I pose more danger to you there than here. The only thing that will help this is time and space. It’ll-” Lena paused to swallow, casting a watery gaze up to the ceiling. “It’ll wear off.” 

“But you’re… you don’t…” Kara looked at Lena incredulously.

“I was soaking in its radiation for days. With the rate of exposure from such an unstable compound, it’s a wonder you were able to get us out of there at all while carrying me. God, the irony of it!” Lena said with a disdainful laugh. “Lillian would be so proud.” Kara watched the way Lena’s mouth moved around that last word, how hollow it sounded, and the way her features remained paralyzed. A deadened expression that only made the glaze of tears in her eyes more conspicuous. 

“Lena, no…” Kara watched helplessly as the droplets now fell freely down Lena’s cheeks. Oh, how she wanted to kiss them away and run her fingers through the blackout curtains of Lena’s hair. 

The brunette didn’t dwell for long. She sniffed and took another sip of wine. “Any sign of her?” She asked in a disturbingly detached manner. This was the furthest Kara had seen Lena retreat into herself. 

She hesitated before answering. “Not yet. Winn and Alex are trying to track the synthesized kryptonite residue Metallo should have left on Lillian and Hank. Even with its unique signature, the explosion has made it difficult to identify trace amounts.”

“I imagine that it would.“ Lena said distantly.

“How are you feeling? How's your head?” Kara asked, trying to combat the frigid atmosphere.

“I’m… I don’t know, Kara.” Lena sighed and set her glass down on the table. She leaned back against the couch, folding her arms tightly across her midsection, effectively fortifying the walls she had built up between her and Kara. It was happening. Kara could feel her slipping away. 

“I’m so sorry, Lena.” She apologized mournfully.

“You saved my life. Again. What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

“It was my idea for you to visit your mother. If I hadn't pushed you, I feel as though all of this would never have happened.” Kara admitted.

“Maybe... And maybe not. Metallo would have gotten the kryptonite either way. Lillian still would have broken out of custody, and she still would have needed me for the biometric lock.” Lena counted off. “I wish I knew what she had taken.” 

“The DEO will be sifting through the debris in an effort to find any evidence cataloguing _his_ projects, but-“ Kara began.

“But it looks as though it may be an exercise in futility, right?” Lena interrupted in a scornful tone.

"Why do I feel like this-” Kara gestured to the space between her and the seated woman, “-is more than the kryptonite exposure, Lena?” 

Lena looked away and clenched her jaw. Kara could endure the distance no longer. Risk be damned! But as she moved closer, the all too familiar resonant ache washed over her, leaching away her strength. The blonde started to sway.

Lena jumped up from the couch and backed away from the unstable Super, all color drained from her face in horror. She bumped the coffee table causing the nearly full glass of wine to topple over and break. They both watched as alizarin crawled across the polished surface in nightmarish slow motion, like splattered hands reaching out for the magazines stacked off to the side. Lena’s stoic face peered up from the cover of Catco that had featured Kara’s article months prior, surrounded by a halo of red. The music must have stopped at some point.

“You should leave.” Lena urged. 

“You shouldn’t have to be alone right now.” Kara countered, making no attempt to restrain the longing in her voice.

“Please, Kara. Just, please.” The CEO weakly beseeched.

The Kryptonian reluctantly obliged.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4PKzz81m5c) that's playing when Kara arrives


	17. Between 2x14-15: In Your Absence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you need a friend who will hold a mirror up to your foolish decisions. Maggie is more than happy to be THAT person for Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone should have a Maggie.
> 
> In case you haven't seen it yet, check out my Supergirl [ fanart!](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Maggie checked the clock on her phone. 6:14pm. As good of a time as any. She dialed the number and hit the call button.

“Hello?” A tentative greeting.

“Luthor. You don’t call? You don’t write?” She tried to sound genial.

“I’m sorry, who is this? How did you get this number?”

“It’s Maggie. Sawyer. I got it from Alex.”

“I see.” The sound of shifting movement could be heard over the line before Lena finally asked, “How can I help you, Detective?””

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Alright, you're still mad. Meet me for a drink.”

“What?!”

“Come on. I need to clear the air with you. Kara's still pissed at me, so by proxy, Alex is too.”

There was a long pause.

“Alright.”

“Time and place? I'm on your schedule, Luthor.”

 ---

They had agreed to meet at 9pm that night. Maggie was already sitting at the bar with two freshly opened beers when the CEO arrived. Lena quickly glanced at her watch, making sure she wasn’t late.

“Relax, Luthor. I was early.” She passed one of the bottles to the side as Lena awkwardly settled into the stool beside her. 

“I’m surprised at your choice of venue, not that I’m complaining.” Maggie had been expecting something neutral, not the familiar territory of the bar she frequented. 

“There aren't many places in National City that can afford me a low profile like this one. Though, I liked it more when M’gann was here.” Lena remarked as she picked up the offered drink and took a swallow.

Maggie sipped her beer and nodded. 

“So, here we are.” Lena motioned to their occupied space. “Doing _what_ exactly?”

“Like I said over the phone, I'm here to make nice. The arrest-“ Maggie explained.

“You were just following the evidence.” Lena interrupted.

“With prejudice.“ Maggie replied.

“The video was very convincing.” Lena countered. Verbal chess.

“I _believed_ that you did it.” Maggie asserted.

Lena didn’t even blink at the clarification. She held Maggie’s gaze in an icy stare. “So did a lot of other people.” 

“Kara never faltered. She pushed for you.” Lena broke eye contact at the mention of the reporter. Maggie picked at the label on her beer bottle restlessly. She sighed, deciding against an attempt to broach the subject with tact. “What's going on between you two?”

“Why is it your business?”

“Because Alex is with her. She's been spending every spare moment with Kara for days. And apparently you haven’t checked in once. I know about you being… irradiated. Alex said it should have worn off within a day or two.” 

“It did.” 

“Then what are you waiting for?” Maggie persisted.

“I need more time.”

“For what? To overthink yourself into doing something stupid? Something you'll regret?” Lena shifted under Maggie’s scrutiny. “All we have is time. And you're wasting it.” 

“I'm just trying to do the right thing.” Lena said defensively.

Maggie took a shot in the dark. “Your mother. She knows, doesn’t she?”

Lena didn’t respond. She had the appearance of someone who had been backed into a corner. Dangerous. 

“You think severing ties with Kara will help dissolve your connection with Cadmus? Stave your involvement?” Maggie interrogated.

“Of course not! I'm not that naive. Lex and Lillian’s transgressions will continue to be a part of my legacy.” Lena’s aloof demeanor crumbled. “When my mother wants something, she takes it. Kara shouldn't have to feel responsible for what happens to me.” 

“So, you're protecting the _Girl of Steel_? Get your head out of your ass. While you're reveling in your great act of nobility, where does that leave Kara? She's lost damn near everyone she cares about. You gonna make her lose you too?”

“She's not the only person who's lost everything, Maggie.” Lena said as she brought her drink to her lips.

"No.” Maggie swiveled her seat to face back towards the bar, an action mimicked by Lena. She took a long pull of her beer and set it down, her fingers leaving trails in the condensation of the perspiring glass. She shot an accusatory look towards the woman at her side. “But she's not the one giving up."

They sat, drinking in silence for a few minutes. Maggie signaled the bartender. They weren’t done yet. The empties were cleared, and replaced with another round. Lena picked up her refreshed drink without question, and turned so she was facing the detective again.

“Lex tailor-made an arsenal just to hurt Superman. To make him suffer. I watched my mother use those devices on Kara,” Lena said with a grimace, “and she did it with glee.“ 

“That’s heavy…” Maggie granted. “But...”

Lena looked at the detective expectantly, impelling Maggie to finish her thought.

“It’s like, you have it in your head that Kara is better off without you. Maybe you think you don’t deserve her, but have you ever stopped to consider that it doesn’t matter? What’s important is that _she deserves you_?” Maggie suggested.

“Nothing is that easy.”

Maggie shook her head. “God, you’re young.”

“That’s… wildly condescending.” Lena’s tone was positively glacial. Maggie had struck a nerve.

“It was meant to be. Your world-weary defeatist attitude is kind of transparent. For someone who is so obviously terrified of abandonment, you’re doing a hell of a good job isolating yourself.”

“You think you know me, Detective Sawyer? Despite what you may believe, I do have self-worth. For someone trying to _clear the air_ , you pass a lot of judgement.”

“Hey, I just call ‘em like I see ‘em, Luthor. It’s not like you came down here because you missed my cheerful personality. Was this somewhat self-serving? Sure. Doesn’t mean that it can’t be mutually beneficial for us. So why don’t you ask the question that’s been on the tip of your tongue since you sat down? _Your_ real motive for coming here tonight.” Despite the bite of Maggie words, her tone was benign.

Lena practically deflated, brow knitted together with concern. She looked down at her drink for a moment, then at her reflection in the mirror behind the assorted liqueurs on the back wall of the bar. Finally, she brought her attention back to Maggie. 

“How is she?” She asked softly.

“Devastated.” Maggie shrugged. “The last week has been tough for Kara. Not just because of your absence. Though, that certainly isn’t helping her situation.”

Maggie began to fill in the blanks for the CEO. In her periphery, she could see Lena twisting the corner of a bar napkin. She would pull off a section of it, roll it into a little ball, and set it on the bar. All the while, never taking her eyes off Maggie. By the time the detective had finished outlining the events of the last several days, Lena had rows of the tiny wads laid out on the surface next to her half-empty drink. Maggie would have laughed in the face of any individual who told her she’d someday witness a Luthor fidget.

“No wonder Alex doesn’t want to leave Kara alone. Everything with Jeremiah… I-I didn’t know.” Lena confessed.

“How could you? It’s not exactly headline news. Kara hasn’t reached out to you because she wants to respect your need for space. Good thing I don’t give damn about it.” Maggie said before gulping down the last of the beer she had been nursing and winced. It had grown warm.

“This is why you asked to me to meet you for a drink. You’re worried.”

“What can I say? I’m a meddler. I meddle. Alex hates it. Or she loves it. I can’t really tell.” Maggie said with a wry smile.

“I need to go.” 

“Yeah, you do.” Maggie agreed. 

Lena gathered her things and got up to leave. She hadn’t taken three steps before anxiously turning back. “What am I going to say to her, Maggie?”

“You’re a smart girl. I think you’ll figure it out.”

Lena nodded and resumed her exit.

“Might want to start with an apology though…” Maggie uttered under her breath as she took out her phone, mulling over whether or not she should text Alex with a _heads-up_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, real talk. I just want to thank all of you who have taken the time to read my fanfic. This has been a first for me. I hope you all have enjoyed reading as much as I have writing it. Thank you for the lovely comments, kudos, and the encouragement to keep it going!
> 
> More on the way! Get ready for some sweet sweet reconciliation!


	18. 2x15: The Pliancy of Steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena finally have "the talk."
> 
> Special thanks to 100fearsandfeels for the suggestion!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back on my bullshit with more [ Supergirl fan art](http://gluffman.tumblr.com)

Lena’s hand was still poised to knock again as Alex flung open the door. “Lena! About damn time!”

Startled, Lena jumped back, but recovered quickly. “I need to talk to Kara, is she-“

“Depends,” the Agent cut her off, “What are you planning to do?”

“Beg her forgiveness?”

“So, you talked to Maggie.” Alex crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. 

“Yes.” Lena answered.

“She tell you to get over yourself?”

“That would be the abridged version.”

Alex looked away, stealing a quick glance behind her, then trained the direction of her gaze at the floor. Lena watched as Alex’s eyes moved back and forth, as if options made tangible were lined up at their feet. A projection of choices. She settled on one spot before looking back up at Lena, exuding determination in her decision.

“Kara’s in her room. Tell her to text me if she needs me.” 

“Of course.”

As Lena stepped over the threshold, Alex grabbed her jacket and keys. Before breezing out the door, she hooked Lena’s arm in a strong grip, her eyes blazing. “I’m still pissed at you.” She stated. At that, Alex loosened her hold, giving Lena a curt nod and hurried out. Lena stood at the entryway for a few seconds before padding lightly towards Kara’s bedroom, attempting to muffle her steps in the quiet apartment.  

The blonde, usually so powerful and radiant, was curled up in a fetal position on her bed. What little light that filtered through the curtains bathed Kara in an array of blues. Lena stepped out of her heels and shrugged off her coat, dropping it to the floor. She crawled onto the bed and lay behind Kara, wrapping her arms around the huddled woman. Lena could feel the initial tensing of the body against her, followed by the quake of shuddering breaths. 

Maggie was right. She had figured out exactly what she needed to say. There would be no excuses, only explanations.

“Kara, I-“ Lena started.

“You don’t have to say it, Lena.” Kara interjected. “I could hear you and Alex talking. You don’t have to say it.” 

“I need to, and I need you to look at me.”

Kara shifted around in Lena’s arms so they lay face to face, her eyes and nose still red from crying. Lena couldn’t help but think about the first time she saw Kara without her glasses. Not as Supergirl, but as Kara. How the Kryptonian held her in the split second after the shot rang out. Even in the shock and pain, Lena knew those eyes. It was more than just the recognition of the girl, it was the look. It spoke of wonderment, concern, and something else that Lena had been unable to identify at the time. Devotion. 

“Since I was a child, I’ve had this… fixation. I would imagine that my life was built on a structure of pillars. Each represented by an attachment. People I loved, where I grew up, etc.. One by one, they were swept out from under me, starting with my mother’s death.” Lena paused. In the past, anytime the subject of her birth mother had been broached, Lena diverted the conversation to another topic. Kara seemed to assume that the issue brought up painful memories for Lena, but that wasn’t quite right. It was the lack of memories in general that truly bothered her. Lena had long since forgotten the sound of her mother’s voice. The lilt of her accent. But there was still the impression of love. Of feeling safe. The memory of her mother was an old photograph, faded by light and time. She continued.

“Subsequently, I was taken from my home and introduced to a new one. Integrated into new family. For a while, with each pillar removed, another was substituted in its place. Always weaker than the last, never quite holding me up in the same way. Until there weren’t anymore substitutions. It became easy to excuse the detachment from my adoptive parents, on the grounds that they weren’t mine. Except for Lex. He wasn’t just my brother, he was my best friend.” Lena sighed. “Until he wasn’t.” 

“Before I met you, I was balancing precariously on what I thought would be my last pillar. L-Corp. And my goal was to reinforce the hell out of it. I was going to take something cracked, _tainted_ , and fix it. I thought, if I could succeed in that, then perhaps I could fix myself. There was still hope for me yet.” Lena scoffed internally as she thought to herself _‘nine months and a thousand years ago.’_ How strange it was, to think of a time before she knew Kara. In a way, it felt as if she had always been there next to Lena.

“The night I visited my mother, before her arraignment, she confessed that I was the product of an affair. Lionel was my real father. I am a Luthor.” She confessed.

Kara’s eyes grew wide at the revelation.

“She told me that she wanted another chance. A chance to do right by me, to be a family. I thought maybe I had been given one of my pillars back. Much like the day I announced the rebranding of the company. Do you remember?”

Kara nodded. 

“My last pillar, it almost fell. But you were there. You kept it from toppling down. You shored my very foundation, Kara Danvers. My beautiful bastion.”

“So, when Lillian abducted me… betrayed me, I realized something. I didn’t care what she did to me. Her support had become superfluous at best. But she still has leverage. She knows who you are, and what you mean to me. I could lose you. In that, I feel the potential for my ruination. It’s not fair for me to lean so hard on you. So, I thought that if it were on my terms-” Lena reached out and stroked Kara’s cheek. “If I could let you go, you’d be free of the burdens I bear. You would be able find someone else. We could both move on.”

“I don’t what anyone else.” Kara insisted. She grasped for the hand Lena had rested at her jawline and held it in a firm grip. There was conviction in her eyes. In her action.   

“After what happened with Metallo, I’m afraid of being your kryptonite. In more than the literal sense.” Lena prepared herself. Not only for what she was about to say, but for the caveat that followed. 

“I love you. And I think my mother will try to kill you because of that. On the principle of who you are.” Lena clarified. “ _What_ you are.”

Kara’s breath hitched as the admission sunk in. The telltale crinkle appeared on her forehead as she focused on their still joined hands. The pounding of Lena’s heart made the pulse point at her wrist jump under Kara’s fingers. She began to draw designs on Lena’s palm. The patterns formed symbols Lena couldn’t readily recognize, but there was a clear repetition to them. Kryptonian, maybe? After a moment, Kara finally spoke.

“When I was 13, I had to learn a new language. Initially, it was easy. I mean, it wasn’t my first time. But there was still a barrier. To constantly have to translate everything in my head before I could say it out loud became so tiresome.” Lena recalled when Kara had told her about the attempts she had made to translate some of her favorite Kryptonian poems and songs for Alex, and how they were always lacking. About having to come up with phrases to act as alternatives for words that don’t exist in English. How they never adequately captured the intensity, the visceral zeal of the originals, and so much was lost along the way. Kara had rolled her eyes at the recollection of the nearly nonsensical mess she made of a particular lullaby. She talked about how Alex had been kind enough to sit through her recitation. After stumbling over the disjointed verses, the disappointment felt almost overwhelming. That is, until Alex asked Kara to sing it in her native tongue. Then teach it to her. Over the years, there had been a few occasions that Alex left her little sister a special voicemail, clumsily singing the song she had been taught. Kara saved each one.

“As with any language, your words are an amalgamation. A phonological, morphological, and syntactic structure that can be broken down and traced backwards. Like lineage in genealogy. Collecting the roots of words, their morphemes, became an obsession of mine. Especially with names… Names hold a particular significance for me. They’re different, in that, the root of a name is usually still the name. There may be various iterations of them cross-culturally, but they span over each one. And even though they rarely mean just one thing, or are defined by a sole term, there’s always a universal identifier. They’re like single word poems. For instance, Kara means _pure, beloved_. Alex, _defender_ and _protector_. Eliza and Jeremiah, _consecrated and exalted by god_. I’ve done this for just about every person I’ve met. I guess, the association would act as a qualifier. I looked up yours. I’m sure you probably already know what it means.”

Lena studied Kara, trying to discern her point. “Yes.” She smiled in spite of herself. “Essentially, it means _shine_.”

“And you do! To me, you do. Lena, you could never be my kryptonite. My power, my strength is derived from exposure to your yellow sun. Every time the light reaches me, it’s like sustenance. A feeling that I could never adequately articulate in this language. A sensation that I thought there could be no rival to. But I was wrong. Because I feel it when I’m with you.”

Lena reached forward and smoothed out the crinkle still present on the Kryptonian’s forehead. Kara closed her eyes in response. She paid special attention to the scar. It seemed to be the only mar on the girl’s otherwise unblemished form. It was as beautiful as the rest of her. Lena grazed over it, letting her fingers follow the swoop of Kara’s nose, uninterrupted by the absence of glasses, then down to slightly parted lips. The heat of Kara’s breath seeped into her fingertips. It traveled up her arm and Lena felt as though she were warmed to the core of her being.

“What are we going to do? What does this make us?” Kara asked timidly.

“That depends. What do you want to do?” Lena answered as she pulled her hand away.

“I want…” Kara trailed off, as if it were the first time she allowed herself the opportunity to answer that question fully, to even complete the thought. She abruptly sat up. “I want to be selfish! For once, I want to have what I want, and keep what I have. I’ve sacrificed too much!” Kara exasperated. “And Rao! As wonderful as it is, acknowledging that we love each other isn’t enough. If you’re with me, I need you to _be with me_. We can’t keep doing this to each other. The push and pull of this horrible cycle we’ve fallen into.”

Lena propped herself up on her elbows, in awe of Kara’s outburst. “Agreed.”

“I need to know that I can count on you to be here when things get bad, as they inevitably do.” Kara pleaded.

Lena clenched her jaw, biting down on her shame before responding, “I know.”

“And I won’t disappear on you either.” Kara punctuated _won’t_ by shaking her head.

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

“Can you forgive me?” Lena implored.

Kara nodded, and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Lena’s lips.

“You smell like the bar.” Kara wrinkled her nose.

“I know… I can go home and clean up. I’ll come back when I’m done.” 

“No. Stay.” Kara protested. Then, added tentatively. “With me.”

Despite Kara’s _Girl of Steel_ moniker, there was a pliancy to her. There was still the give and gravity of flesh. A Super could be soft. And a Luthor could be tender.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference to the significance of Lena's name meaning "shine" came from a tumblr post that I haven't been able to find. T.T  
> If anyone knows of it, I'd be much obliged. I want to give the person proper credit!


End file.
